Generations Blog

I had a chat with a young professional in the natural gas industry this past week. During the conversation, I asked him about his pet peeves in working with older co-workers. ”One would be the subtle comments that can be rather belittling,” he said. I asked him for an example. “Well, last week one of the senior managers here told me ‘You’re the smartest 25-year-old we’re had around here in a while,’” he replied. ”I didn’t know if he thought I was the best of a bunch of dummies or whether he was truly complimenting me. I gues he thought he was being funny.”

 That reminded me of the young engineer who told me about the cadre of senior professionals with which she worked. “Whenever I suggested something that perhaps they had considered before, they would respond by saying ‘When you were negative three, we thought about doing that, but decided against it.’ It was cute the first couple of times. How can they expect people like me to stay if they demean me in front of others? I left after a year. What a waste!”

It can be a temptation for some of us to make “funny” comments, especially when we’re uncomfortable, lacking in confidence or trying to feel worthy. Of course, many times these comments hurt others especially young workers, who are simply trying to contribute to the overall environment. That doesn’t mean that they’re too fragile or frightened to survive. But it sure can change the relationship in a hurry. They’re simply looking for some respect and a way to fit in . . . just like you did how many years ago.